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It started in Ohio. I was serving a Christian mission for my church and started developing gut issues that doctors didn’t have any good answers for. My companion at the time was from Australia and did a lot of holistic modalities that I thought was totally psycho. But I tried them and learned about the mind-body connection and felt incredible by the time I went back home to Utah. I then did my best to continue to follow my heart and work through the physical, mental and emotional issues I faced being home from such an intense (and great) mission experience. I developed hypothyroidism, anxiety, depression, eating addiction issues, and isolated myself from my friends and family for a time.

I was searching for more meaning in my life and a way to heal on a deeper level than what I was seeing more traditionally available. I was also searching for my vocation and calling in life. I’d been studying psychology, family therapy, and recreational therapy and was learning a lot and I loved my courses. It was like going to therapy and getting school credit for it! I knew I wanted to help people in personal and impactful ways and was raised by an incredibly talented therapist mother. I was also super interested in natural and holistic healing methods since the mission experience and had been amazed by chiropractic, foot zoning, and A LOT of spiritual books like Dr. Dyer and Louise Hay and anything Hay House Publishing. 

During my senior year of college I had a career-changing experience, I just didn’t know it would change my career at the time. I met with someone who did the Emotion Code. She asked for my permission and did something strange with her fingers and said my body was holding “Guilt” from age 19. It sounded accurate and I remembered I’d been dating someone not great for me at that time. I didn’t feel anything when she released the emotion but it definitely sounded like something I could have been holding onto subconsciously. She then released a generational emotion tied to feeling like I needed to earn Gods love and my entire left side of my body went tingly and light and I felt it PHYSICALLY. It was so profound I went and laid down in another room to connect more deeply with this sensation of being able to release energy like that. And that was it. Two emotions and I thought she was magic.

Two year later I was newly certified in Emotion Code and seeing amazing things too. I had an Etsy shop before they cracked down on their policies of only selling physical products and I was practicing without a lot of confidence but with a desire to help people and a belief that the method worked. I helped one woman release the emotions in her hips and shoulders and she got her full range of motion back within two sessions and was amazed. We both were. I had a client in India who I worked with solely by email and she was giving me great reviews. People kept buying more sessions and I just watched what was happening whilst feeling like somewhat of a fraud. I’d practice on anyone who would let me and I was starting to realize that maybe I COULD do this stuff too. I started a foot zoning certification course soon after those experiences and expanded my work to include that modality as well as learning Reiki on the side from a fellow religious friend and nurse practitioner.

Fast forward 9 years since that first experience with the Emotion Code and I no longer have any of the physical issues and experience significantly less anxiety and depression in my life. I feel it has been a combination of learning meditation and doing energy work. Learning the Emotion Code is one of my top recommendations for those interested in alternative methods of healing, along with doing an energy healing course with me, and anything from Allie Duzett. Mind-body-spirit healing is real. I love seeing all these tools come together to help us all experience real and lasting healing!

HERE is a link for the Emotion Code website and a free Emotion Code starter kit.

HERE is a link for those interested in becoming an Emotion Code Practitioner.

And HERE is an Amazon link for the Emotion Code book, which I highly recommend.

Please reach out if you have any questions or comments about this amazing inspired work. I believe in our ability to heal the world through healing ourselves and then sharing that healing with others. Please reach out to me about courses for parents and those wanting to learn energy healing methods. Good things are coming my friends.

If you have seen Frozen II you may have just thought it was a beautiful story that entertained the kids. What you may not have noticed is that the story line is all about generational healing! There is a lot of research that has been done regarding what I call emotional DNA; the idea that you can inherit emotional traumas if those things had not gotten resolved in an ancestors lifetime. For some, this concept may be way out there but we see it with mental health conditions like depression and anxiety; why not consider the possibility that you or your family may be working out struggles of your family story? 

This topic has been coming up more and more in my sessions. There is so much power in identifying an issue as generational. I’ll take myself as an example. I have always struggled with decision making (fear of regret) and being hard on myself internally. It was just a way of thinking I was accustomed to and it wrecked havoc on my mind body and spirit in my 20’s! Literally a few months ago from the date of this post, I fully recognized the connection within my being hard on myself to my maternal grandma who LIVED HER WHOLE LIFE being hard on herself and regretting/questioning decisions she’d made early on in her life. There was a trauma over a big decision she had made and then spent so much of her life wondering about if it would have could have been different. That level of emotional stress is called trauma my friends! And I was here learing all this cool stuff to be able to help her spirit on the other side fully heal from those false beliefs and unhelpful habits, but especially from the event and its effects itself. Being kind to myself was SO MUCH EASIER once I was able to identify whose issue this really was!

Signs of something being a GENERATIONAL ISSUE:

1. You feel like its something you have always had. Examples may be money issues, weight issues, anxiety, depression, or perfectionism.
2. You can’t place WHY you may have this issue in your own life. It doesn’t fit the context of your own life… because its not from your personal life. So always having money issues when you personally have never had a traumatic experience with money points to this being a deeper generational issue that YOU CAN WORK THROUGH and help you and your ancestors heal this story.
3. It feels uncommonly emotional; often a small event will trigger an emotional response that does not fit the event. Often can be an overwhelming emotion of anger or depression or guilt but again, doesn’t fit the situation.
4. You can see a parent or grandparent who may have had a similar emotion or event happen that is triggering an uncommon emotional response.

Once we identify that something just might be generational, we can go to the roots instead of whacking at the branches of something deeper! Here are a few tips to start healing (yourself and others) on a deeper level:

1. Learn about your family history; both the good and the bad of stories or experiences your family went through. Every winter I clear a new level of my pioneer ancestors stuff about crossing the plains to Utah in covered wagons as I feel uncommonly (out of context) dreading of the winter season.
2. Become aware of the theme of your current emotional or life issues or struggles, does it sound like any who came before you? 
3. Meditate on the emotion, the struggle or the theme coming up for you. Letting yourself feel into it and get curious about if it has happened before. 
4. If it sounds like someone in the family line, take a moment to thank the emotion or experience for coming forward to be healed and for what a relief that it is to have identified its origin. 
5. Use EFT (tapping), the scribble exercise or prayer/meditation/intention to release yourself and your ancestors of this trauma or ask to speak with that ancestor and show them the truth.

This work is powerful and deep and there are many prophetic promises of getting to know your family history in this way. Be kind with yourself and your family as you do so, this isn’t about blaming anyone but about becoming aware of things they simply didn’t know or didn’t know how to deal with. And please, ask for assistance as you get more familiar with this work, it can be a lot for one person and there is support available to you.

Also keep in mind that you can’t get it wrong and you have already likely worked out some traumas without even realizing it! The book It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn may be helpful as a continual resource as well as The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson and Feeling Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman. I have heard of many others but these are a great place to start!

Namaste

I turned 31 about a month ago. Which is so great and exciting and I am excited about it. And I am single. Never been married, maybe never have fallen in love. I live in a highly religious community and am myself highly religious and spiritual and have had a hard time making sense of my single status. It’s probably been one of my most sensitive personal topics and it’s been hard. 

For those of you who know me, you know that I lost my dad over a year ago. Losing my dad was excruciatingly painful and was a shock to my life in every way. But it also felt clear: this is what is right, it hurts, feel it completely and it will heal with time and you will be a new and better person because of it. There was a point to it, a purpose for it, and I am different in many good ways because of it. I found purpose in my grief and live my own kind of epic life in memory of my Dad. 

Being or feeling single or alone is also a kind of grief. For any of you who know what this is like, it hurts more than anyone can see because it’s an unseen, confusing, prolonged pain; we’re not sure if we are grieving a life we may not have or on the cusp of a happily ever after.  I’ve had to keep the hope alive that I could meet someone any day now but then there are days where it’s all I can do to keep going because of the pain and discouragement around it all. It is a different kind of pain and straining on the soul than losing a parent was for me. 

If you’re a woman like myself, there’s an added intensity of wanting to have children in this life. I struggled with the answer that I would receive everything I’ve been promised whether in this life or the next. My whole being would respond with “It has to be in this life or I’m going to the next!”

To anyone who relates to this single or not, there are things I have learned to turn to for comfort, strength and peace. And I believe these things can console our loneliness, curb the pain, and have the potential to fully heal a broken heart and what can feel like a broken life plan. 

1. God has always used a Wilderness to strengthen and purify His people. 

Being a single member of a Church focused on Families leaves us to grapple with our own sense of being alone in a personal wilderness. God led His people through wildernesses, to strengthen and purify them and help them find who they really are. 

My wilderness journey has been harder and longer than I would have ever expected. And I still believe I will get married and have children. I just didn’t think it would be in my 30’s. And it’s possible it won’t happen then of course either. But I do know I am being led. And on the days when all I can see is my feet in front of me, that is all I have. 

My fear doesn’t like the wilderness at all and is constantly trying to make sense of how I got there or why. It wants to talk about and analyze exactly what went wrong so I can fix it. When I’m in this mental state, I believe that I’m the one that can and should fix it, and for heavens sake quickly! Then everyone can relax about me and we all can move forward together. When my fear tries to take over and figure it out, I introduce the thought that maybe this is where I am supposed to be. Maybe I was led here. For a purpose I know not.

 When we start to trust that we are led into the wilderness we can let go of our “shoulding”. I should have done this better, I should have gone to more FHE’s, I should have prayed harder when I was in college and had more opportunities to date etc etc. All of that looking back starts go away when we open to the idea that this period of personal wilderness IS our plan.

Another interesting thing happens if and when we choose to trust that we have been led into the wilderness; we realize how completely dependent on God we are to be led through it. We let go of control over figuring it out. We stop analyzing and spinning our own wheels and start listening. We start trusting. And we realize as AA members do, that “I can’t” I am powerless over this plan for my life, “He Can” God is the only power that can make this happen or make me okay at all, and “I will let Him”, I will turn my life and where I thought I was going over to this power completely. I’m not in control. I relinquish my control. I trust. I am led. I surrender and I let the person I thought I was becoming die. I become Gods alone. Single to His will and His glory. I am His.

I chose to trust that God has led me into the wilderness and that He is leading me out of it. Trust that God is leading you, trust the wilderness you’re in, embrace it fully and see what happens. 

2. Opposition and pain are part of the plan

My singles ward Bishop once gave a lesson about the Tree of Life and my impression rested on the role of the mists of darkness in that vision. While he was speaking, I recognized so clearly that I was being attacked by this darkness, intensely and often! I felt that, of course, the darkness would want to keep me from holding on to what I know and believe in and the promise of an eternal family for me. Of course there would be immense opposition to me seeing my value, to believing in a good man for me, to believe that I could be healed of anything keeping me from that path.

Once I could see the doubts, fears, and insecurities I’d been being influenced to feel or believe in as the adversary, it was much easier to hold to the light. There have been times of such darkness that it’s all I can do to visualize the light in my mind and putting all my thoughts on the light until it’s stronger than the black hole Satan tries to get me sucked into. I have had many a night praying to cast out negative energies that want me to be cynical and in pain with them. 

It also helped me to relate those moments of heaviness, pain, and negativity to being like a pregnant woman having a contraction. If she doesn’t know she’s going into birth and that this is how that birth comes about, she might panic and fear the pain of the contraction. When a woman is coached to know that this is part of it, she no longer fears the way her body is helping the baby be born.

This thought helped me immensely in times when the doubts and fears were so strong I wanted to die. I remember that I am giving birth! People sometimes want to die when they are giving birth. The dying and the birthing are interconnected parts. I am birthing a new life for myself that is different from the one I imagined for me but no less amazing than anyone else’s journey.

Recognizing that there is darkness and seeing that it has a purpose has been essential for me to turn again towards the light of hope and to feel again that I am known and loved personally by God. And also knowing that moments of intense opposition, doubt, pain, or darkness are going to come and they are going to pass and that this process is part of how we are made new. 

3. Finding the Prince of Peace within

I was raised in the disney princesses era and as silly as that may sound, I think I had a 4-5 year old impression on love for, like, a long time. I just really believed that some day my prince would come and we would live happily ever after. I waited to be rescued from my single life of struggle and trials and loneliness and be taken to the fairy tale land of a blissful marriage. 

There were many good men, none that I was super interested in. I served a mission, I developed anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder after my mission, figured all that out with God, started a career and extremely fulfilling personal business in a few years, took great opportunities to travel, met and helped and loved some truly amazing people, and discovered much more of who I really am. All this while part of me still waited to be happier and for things to get easier.

John 4:14 “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life”.  This is one of my favorite ideas! That our journey of allowing Christ within will create IN US a well of water to quench all thirst for happiness or peace or well being. Not a physical thirst but an emotional and spiritual thirst for God, Oneness, eternal connection and life. 

Part of the struggle of “being single” is a belief that having a partner will give us what we are looking for most be it comfort, security, financial ease, companionship, acceptance, affection. The struggle comes again in realizing we are waiting for an OUT THERE person to fill a gap that we feel in here. We get stuck trying to control the things we can’t control (like people) to meet our needs. Christ was teaching us that we can let go of our outer thirsting and try His spring inside us with Him and His constant presence instead. 

I stopped waiting recently. I asked God to take that habit from my mind and to help me be fully present to Him and to my Purpose here and now. I asked to let my desire for God and His work for me to be my greatest desire. I asked to be freed from thinking that a person OUT THERE would save me in here. I prayed to have my eye and my life be single to the glory of God and to have the faith that His plan for me is better than any I have for myself. 

Remaining single longer than expected in a family-oriented belief system can be so hard, especially when you have felt that you are doing everything you can to receive a righteous desire of the heart. It is a righteous desire to find the right partnership and to be in an eternal marriage. That is still the ultimate plan. That is still the promise. That is still the path of exaltation. And it is coming. I believe that if your heart is in the right place, you can’t mess it up. We get to find strength in His plan for us and let go and let God make us into more than we could have made ourselves into any other way. 

I hope and pray that we all are able to turn our lives over fully to the Creator of Heaven and Earth and live Single to His Glory. Whatever path that looks like for each one of us. May we have peace in where we are and hope in where we are going.